


Operation: Oikawa is an Idiot

by pipecleanerFlowers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipecleanerFlowers/pseuds/pipecleanerFlowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes exactly two weeks for Oikawa to get over the fact that he was dumped by his beloved girlfriend, and Iwaizumi is in the middle of thanking the heavens for Oikawa’s swift recovery when he is suddenly dragged from their dorm all the way to the campus Starbucks.</p><p>In which Oikawa doesn't know how to introduce himself and Iwaizumi is his unwilling advisor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation: Oikawa is an Idiot

It takes exactly two weeks for Oikawa to get over the fact that he was dumped by his beloved girlfriend, and Iwaizumi is in the middle of thanking the heavens for Oikawa’s swift recovery when he is suddenly dragged from their dorm all the way to the campus Starbucks.

With their Grande lattes in hand, Oikawa pulls him over to a booth close to the floor-to-ceiling windows and grins at him. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow, not entirely sure what the good news is, or if it’s even news at all, but it only takes another second for Oikawa to start talking so he doesn’t have to wait too long to find out.

“Just look at her, isn’t she beautiful? She’s a goddess, right? Right??”

Iwaizumi looks over to where Oikawa is gesturing frantically and spots a girl with jet-black hair and wire glasses sitting at a table alone, laptop open, no doubt in the middle of something very important if the serious expression on her face says anything about it.

“She’s pretty, yeah. What about it you moron?”

“I think… she’s the one!” Oikawa sounds so giddy and it’s a nice change from the depressing, clingy, lump of a human being Iwaizumi had to deal with for two weeks (and regardless of the swift recovery, having Oikawa on you for two weeks is enough to drive anyone insane. However, this is just as ridiculous and Iwaizumi fights to urge to deck him in the face.

Well, at least he’s not Romeo.

“She comes here every day and orders a chai latte, but sometimes when it’s warmer she gets a vanilla bean frap made with soy milk and extra whipped cream. Isn’t she just adorable?”

“And I’m to assume from this information that you’ve been stalking her?” Iwaizumi feels a headache coming on.

“Only to figure out the best approach, I assure you. And I’ve found that she really doesn’t like the straightforward type.”

“How’d you figure that out?”

“Exhibit A: Tanaka Ryuunosuke,” Oikawa says with a smirk as he gestures toward the table adjacent to the girl’s, where a boy with a distinctly shaved head is sitting. “He’s always trying to buy for her and proclaim his love. What a fucking nerd.”

Iwaizumi turns to face Oikawa. “And you’re not?” he deadpans. Oikawa just laughs and waves his hands flippantly.

It’s during this moment that Tanaka Ryuunosuke gets up and slides his chair over to the girl’s table, smacking his bookbag on the table and grinning as he says something or another. The girl smiles and shuts her laptop.

Iwaizumi chances a look at Oikawa, whose jaw has dropped. “Wait. Wait no way! She’s totally and definitely not interested in him!” he practically screeches.

Iwaizumi keeps the fact that they seem to be going through class notes to himself. Oikawa can suffer through his own stupidity for all he cares. “You know, just because you can read a court, doesn’t mean you can read girls.”

Oikawa almost whimpers in pain. “Maybe I should stick to hitting on volleyballs,” he proclaims dramatically.

“Maybe you should,” Iwaizumi agrees, before clamping a hand down on his idiotic friend’s shoulder and pushing him out of the Starbucks.

</3

“I think she’s tutoring him.”

Iwaizumi looks up from his desk, turning to face Oikawa, who probably thinks he’s cool shit leaning against the doorframe like that. He sighs. “Okay, so she’s tutoring him.”

“Yep! And that means they’re not dating!”

Iwaizumi bites down the snark because it’s two in the morning and the entire dorm is probably either fast asleep or also attempting to get some late-night studying done because exams are around the corner. But then again, Oikawa is being a moron.

“You didn’t figure that out earlier when he pulled out his gigantic, heavy textbooks?” Iwaizumi asks, staring at him pointedly.

Oikawa laughs, softly because apparently yes, he is in fact aware of the time and maybe even that exams are nearing at an alarmingly stressful rate. “Well, maybe I was blinded by love?”

“Do you even know her name?”

“Shimizu Kiyoko.”

“Okay, one point for you.”

“Wanna hear the plan?”

Iwaizumi has already sentenced himself to three years worth of sharing rent with the guy. His plans, on the other hand? “If I have to.”

Oikawa grins and crashes back onto his bed, turning the sheets into a flurry of wrinkles and ruining the pristine smoothness that Iwaizumi had laboured over this morning (but mostly that was out of procrastination and he’s not nearly as annoyed as that kind of blatantly ignorant ruination warrants). “Okay so basically…”

And Iwaizumi is thus informed of Oikawa’s needlessly long-winded plan full of completely ridiculous ideas that no doubt came from his favourite romantic comedies. And maybe a few were based on volleyball tactics, but he’s not entirely sure because he may or may not have fallen asleep at his desk while Oikawa ignored the world in favour of hearing his own voice.

</3

“Target spotted at two o’clock,” Oikawa whispers. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Subject: Idiot, approaching.”

Subject: Idiot was in fact the very same Tanaka Ryuunosuke whom Kiyoko had been tutoring the day prior, whose name Iwaizumi was surprised he even remembered. And… maybe he should stick to calling her Shimizu. He didn’t even know her yet, after all.

Oikawa was obviously beginning to rub off on him. Iwaizumi shudders at the thought.

Iwaizumi stirs another packet of sugar into his Grande coffee and sighs. “Okay, so when are you going to initiate Plan: Oikawa is an Idiot?” The fingers of his free hand adjust his grip on a stereo boombox that Oikawa somehow managed to acquire overnight. He sighs.

“I told you,” Oikawa whines. “It’s called Operation: I am a smooth criminal.”

“A.K.A., you’re an idiot. Can you please stop staring over there, you look creepy as fuck.”

</3

In the end, Oikawa didn’t have the guts to actually go through with his ridiculous plan, which involved a rubber duck, a stack of notepads, a singular paperclip, and a Broadway musical number. Guess Iwaizumi had toted that massive boombox over to the campus Starbucks for nothing.

And now he’s witnessing Oikawa bawl all over his Biology notes while they’re trying to study.

“Your ex couldn’t have picked a better time to break up with you,” Iwaizumi says, kicking Oikawa under the table. It only succeeds in making his whimper more. “Why couldn’t she have waited till after exams were over?”

“Because she’s horrible,” Oikawa blubbers.

“Damn straight she is.”

There’s a pause in which Oikawa sniffles loudly and pushes himself off of his textbook. “Wanna go to the gym?”

“Why not.”

They’re obviously not getting much done in terms of studying anyway, and maybe Iwaizumi could serve a few volleyballs to his pathetic friend’s face? Yes, perfect plan.

The gym is pretty much empty except for a few guys who probably figured the place might be quieter than the library (which they were totally right until Oikawa bursts through the door, track pants and old Aoba Jousei tee on, laughing loudly about how float serves are the troll serve and therefore they’re the best serve).

They spend two hours serving and passing to each other, every so often breaking for water. Iwaizumi pauses during a swig to wonder if Oikawa is pushing himself, what with the breakup, exams, Shimizu, and volleyball.

“You could just say hi to her, introduce yourself like a normal person?” he says as he throws his water-bottle down into his duffel bag.

“What?” Oikawa looks at him like he’s crazy. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. “That’s absurd, what girl goes for a normal guy? Haven’t you read shojo manga before? And I assure you my stint of reading that genre was only--”

“For research, yeah. Whatever, Oikawa. I’m going back to the dorm, my first exam is on Tuesday.”

“Oh come on, you’ve got the whole weekend to study for that!”

“Says the kid with the 4.0 GPA. I’m not you and I don’t particularly have time for your whims. See you later, Oikawa.”

When the door clicks shut, echoing through the empty hallway, Iwaizumi wonders momentarily whether he was too harsh. Then he walks away, readjusting the duffel bag’s strap on his shoulder and trying to remember the details of his notes of the deep dissection of the gluteus maximus.

</3

The door to their dorm opens with a groan and Iwaizumi’s eyes blink open enough to recognize Oikawa’s tired figure crossing the room and flopping into bed before fluttering back shut.

He regrets falling asleep over his desk in the morning, and he’s just in the middle of rolling back his shoulders to shake away the muscle aches when a Grande Starbucks coffee is set onto his desk over a diagram of the different leg muscles.

“What’s this?” Iwaizumi asks, looking up at Oikawa. His eyes are tired, shoulders drooping, so different from the one who mourned over his breakup and the one who determinedly pressed onwards into introducing himself to Shimizu.

“An apology, I guess? Yeah. Sorry.” His voice is completely lackluster. Iwaizumi grimaces.

“Whatever, man. Apology accepted.” He takes a swig of the coffee and grins. “Just don’t pull me into your courting plans again.”

“Courting? You make the whole thing sound so ancient!”

“You’re the one who said you’re an upstanding young gentleman.”

“That’s because I am.”

“Sure. So, what about today? Was the goddess-girl there?”

Oikawa crashes onto his bed and pulls his laptop from his bag. “She was there alright. Tutoring again. Too bad I don’t need one of those.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Yeah, too bad, mister A-plus.”

“I resent that.”

“You resent a lot of things. Wanna study at Starbucks today? We could start a tab.”

Oikawa brightens up considerably, the grin plastered onto his face looking out of place next to his bloodshot eyes. “Can we? Really?”

“Sure, just don’t take advantage of my kindness, asshole.”

<3

The first hour of sitting in the campus Starbucks is completely normal, filled with drink orders, the click-clacking on fingers on keyboards, and the occasional shuffle of notes. Iwaizumi has groaned exactly seven times, and Oikawa has spent at least half of that hour staring wistfully at Shimizu Kiyoko because he already has most of his notes memorized.

“You know,” Iwaizumi starts as he turns to another page of their biology textbook, “you could just tell the barista to send over her favourite drink. It looks like her frap is done.”

Oikawa frowns. “Yeah, but what if she’s on like… a diet? Or something? What if she’s diabetic and that’s her treat and she can’t have another one?”

“Then what does she usually eat here?”

“The chocolate-covered pretzel sticks. Or a brownie.”

“Has she had something to eat yet?

“... No?”

“Then send her one of those and like. I dunno. Just do something, you’re beginning to look pathetic sitting there and swooning to yourself.”

Oikawa mulls this over for a moment before nodding. “Alright. I’ll try it.”

The scratch of his chair across the floor as he gets up grates on Iwaizumi’s ears as much as the swooning did and he watches Oikawa walk over to the counter before staring at his notes again with frustration.

A few minutes later, Oikawa sits back down across from him and Iwaizumi looks up to see Oikawa’s face fighting over three different expressions. “So? What’s the verdict?”

“I, uh. I got her number!” The grin wins out and spreads across his face.

“Told you to just be normal.”

Oikawa shrugs. “Who knew?”

 

 


End file.
